Men are the forgotten victims of abortion...
Many men in our society today who are hurting or having problems have something in common: they were involved in a pregnancy that ended in an abortion: • They encouraged
or supported the woman's decision to have an abortion. How did this begin? Studies have shown that men in abortion clinic waiting rooms feel isolated, alone, angry at themselves and their partners for being in this situation, and concerned about any physical or emotional harm that the abortion might cause their partners. Men who have an abortion in their past, as opposed to men whose wives or girlfriends carried to term, in higher numbers report poor relationships with either or both parents, more psychiatric problems in their family, and a higher incidence of alcoholism, drug dependency, neurosis, and compulsive gambling. Legally, men have few rights to protect their baby from an abortion. This in itself is a cause for anger for some men. Calling an abortion a "woman's choice" makes men feel isolated from the decision making process, especially if they are opposed to it. It can make him feel emasculated and powerless, two things a man especially hates to feel. Some men do offer
and seek to provide both financial and emotional support to their partner
or wife and baby, but she may have a low attachment to her pre born child,
and has possibly placed other considerations ahead of having a family
or another child at the time. This rejection can be hurtful for a man
and very difficult for him to deal with. Men can be affected by abortion in similar ways to women and many report post-abortion problems such as: • Feelings of
grief and helplessness How are guys expected to handle this? The view of manhood in America today is one of men always being tough, cool, and sometimes even apathetic, so speaking about the effects of abortion is an even greater taboo for men than for women. Society says if a man wants to grieve, he had better do it privately. If he feels that an abortion has denied him his child, he had better work it out himself. Typical male grief includes remaining silent and grieving alone. In the silence, a man can harbor guilt and doubts about his ability to protect himself and those he loves. Some become depressed and/or anxious. Others become controlling, demanding and directing. Still others become enraged and failure in any relationship can trigger hostility from their disconnected grief. A guilt-ridden, tormented man does not easily love or accept love. Not only women and unborn children are victims of abortion, but men are victims too - the forgotten victims. Abortion hurts men too! The psychological and emotional damage of an abortion is called "Post Abortion Stress" (PAS). How do men suffer from PAS? Men who have fathered children who were aborted commonly experience post abortion stress. Through the process of denial, some men block the natural process of grieving and dealing with the death of their pre born children. They may deny their responsibility for the abortion, and in so doing, block the natural recovery process that must take place before healing can occur. Why do men need help? It is always healthy for men who have been affected by an abortion to grieve the loss of their children and to find closure and healing from the wounds - wounds that are frequently not identified as being related to the abortion. It is possible for men to be released from the harmful consequences of a past abortion and to experience peace. They can leave behind the old, crippling habits of abandoning and disappointing others. They can stand in the fullness of their true God-given identities by blessing spouses, children and others who need their love. Are
you hurting from a past abortion decision? Since abortion is a final decision,
we strongly encourage both men and women involved in a pregnancy to seek
informative counseling before an abortion. However, some men are not able
to be part of the decision process. Just as we offer post abortion counseling
for women, we offer peer counseling and support to any man who has been
affected by an abortion decision. Call the center
for an appointment or e-mail us at the "Questions?" link |
