Abortion
Are you considering
abortion?
Is your girlfriend
pregnant and you don't know what to do? Are you pushing her to have an
abortion? Maybe friends and family are encouraging you to push her to
have an abortion or she's being pushed by her own friends or family. Whatever
your situation, you are not alone. Lots of couples experience a "surprise"
pregnancy and immediately worry about how this will affect their future.
Abortion seems like an easy and legal choice but it does have significant
risks that you need to understand.
Having a baby doesn't
mean the end of your dreams. Women can choose abortion without the permission
of the baby's father, but many women who have had abortions report that
they were waiting for their boyfriends/husbands to stop them. Some even
say that they sat on the abortion table hoping the father of their baby
would "rush through the door to rescue me and take me away somewhere
safe." The world says that abortion is "a woman's choice"
but a woman in an unexpected pregnancy rarely wants to make that choice
alone. She is looking to you for support because she can't confide in
many people about this situation. A lack support on your part makes her
automatically assume that you want the abortion.
The CPC exists to
help both of you come to an informed decision. Pregnancy causes a young
woman to be overwhelmed at times by hormonal changes that hinder her from
making good decisions. If you care about this woman in your life, you
will want to protect her from harm. You need to know what the risks of
abortion are. You may know that abortion has many risks for her emotionally,
psychologically, and physically, but you may not realize that it will
affect you as well.
If
You Decide To Have An Abortion:
If you both decide
to have an abortion, when you visit an abortion clinic ask the clinic
staff these questions:
• What kind
of abortion will she have? Will it be chemical or surgical? Ask about
the risks. It's important that you both sit through any discussion about
the abortion procedure. Most women will appreciate a man who wants to
be with them through this difficult time.
• Who is the doctor and what are his credentials? Be sure to write
down his name. Don't let her sign any papers that might release him
from any liability if he hurts her. Check to see if the clinic is clean
and sanitary. Many clinics are never inspected by governmental agencies.
As a result, they can provide sub-standard care to their patients. If
the clinic doesn't appear spotless, find another one.
• If they offer ultrasounds, insist on being allowed to view the
screen. Both of you have a right to view any medical tests that are
being conducted. You also are entitled to an appointment face to face
24 hours before the procedure to receive more information and to have
any questions answered.
• Should your girlfriend/wife have any doubts, take her home.
There is no rush to make this decision. Any hesitation on her part could
mean significant regrets in the future. Don't push her into something
she doesn't want to do.
• Accompany her throughout the clinic. Should the clinic staff
seek to isolate you from your girlfriend/wife be immediately suspicious
and ask her to leave with you for the time being. She needs you now
more than ever and she also needs someone to ensure that she isn't hurt
in any way. Whatever the clinic rules are, there is no reason you cannot
hold her hand through this procedure.
Remember that abortion
doesn't erase a mistake, it only adds another one. Abortion is PERMANENT.
There is no "undoing" this decision. Wait and research all your
options. Another interesting thing about abortion that we have learned
from people is that most couples break up soon afterwards. Abortion doesn't
seem to be the glue that holds a relationship together. Feelings of betrayal
and hurt, compounded with the grief over the loss that results from abortion,
can separate two hearts forever. If you care about this woman, encourage
her not to abort.
Post-Abortion
If you choose abortion, be prepared. You may experience what is called
"Post-Abortion Syndrome" or "Post-Abortion Stress".
Man were created by God with a built-in desire to protect and provide
for your children. If you go ahead with an abortion, according to many
studies that have been done on this subject you may experience one or
more of the following problems:
• Feelings
of grief and helplessness
• Feelings of guilt and shame
• Substance abuse
• Self-hatred
• Instability in relationships with women
• Inability to bond with children
• Sleeplessness, bad dreams, nightmares
• Avoidance behaviors/addictions
• Sexual dysfunctions
• Lack of confidence or unexplainable anxieties
• Depression, fear of failure, or fear of rejection
• Uncontrollable rage
• Loneliness or numbness
• Sense of loss
• Self-esteem and confidence problems
• Increased risk-taking and suicidal behavior
• Greater tendencies to becoming angry or violent
• A sense of lost manhood
If you are experiencing
any of these symptoms, understand that you are not alone and our center
exists to help you. There is healing available after an abortion. Let
us share it with you.
We
Are Here To Help You
We can help you in a variety of ways if you decide to give birth to the
baby. Our support services include maternity clothes, baby furniture,
parenting classes, etc. You won't be alone in this pregnancy. We are here
for guys with our Man To Man program, and we have something called Dad2B
that takes you through fatherhood classes and allows you to earn rewards
for your baby as you go.
Call the center
for an appointment or e-mail us at the "Questions?" link
to talk, ask a question, or make an appointment
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